


Happier

by MarriedWithJo



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Ed Sheeran - Freeform, Happier, M/M, Song Lyrics, Songfic, based off an ed sheeran song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 11:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16852870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarriedWithJo/pseuds/MarriedWithJo
Summary: It’s on the road where they walked as children to go to school that Patton sees Logan again.After at least a month or so from their breakup, Patton notices with a lump in his throat that his ex-boyfriend is already in good company,  a particularly attractive figure has his arm wrapped around his hips: a boy of their age with a deep purple jacket, hair of the same colour, and particularly intense dark circles under his eyes. He’s smoking, while Logan's face is relaxed and there is no sign of concern in his eyes.





	Happier

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is based off Ed Sheeran’s song, not the Bastille and Marshmello one. Thank you, thank you, thank you @septic-italian on Tumblr for being an amazing beta, i love you a lot. <3 This fic has been in my drafts for months and I think it’s finally time to post it. I hope you enjoy it!

_Walking_   _down 29th and Park_  
_I_   _saw_   _you in_   _another’s_   _arms_  
_Only_   _a_   _month_   _we’ve_   _been_   _apart  
__You look_   _happier_

 

It’s on the road where they walked as children to go to school that Patton sees Logan again.

After at least a month or so from their breakup, Patton notices with a lump in his throat that his ex-boyfriend is already in good company,  a particularly attractive figure has his arm wrapped around his hips: a boy of their age with a deep purple jacket, hair of the same colour, and particularly intense dark circles under his eyes. He’s smoking, while Logan’s face is relaxed and there is no sign of concern in his eyes. 

 

 _Saw_   _you_   _walk_   _inside a bar_  
_He_   _said_   _something_   _to make you_   _laugh_  
_I_   _saw_   _That_   _Both_   _your_   _smiles_   _were_   _twice_   _as wide as_   _ours  
__Yeah, you look_   _happier, you do_

 

Trying not to get noticed too much by the two of them, Morality, the nickname used by Patton’s friends for his great sense of justice, clearly hears the genuine laughter of his ex-boyfriend even from the other side of the street where he is.

Clenching his mouth in a line and taking a quick look at the two guys who are entering a bar,  **their** bar, in which Logan has declared his feelings for the first time, Patton realizes that their smiles, Logan’s one for the the joke and the boy’s one in reflection, are definitely more beautiful and bright than those that the two former lovers shared.

 

 _Ain’t_   _nobody_   _hurt_   _you_   _like_   _I_   _hurt_   _you_  
_but_   _ain’t_   _nobody_   _loves you_   _like_   _I do_  
_Promise_   _that_   _I_   _will_   _not_   _take_   _it_   _personal, baby  
__If_   _you’re_   _moving_   _on with_   _someone_   _new_

 

Being able to retrace in his mind their last fatal quarrel, with shouts, insults and desperate crying noises in his ears, Patton calls himself an idiot, sighing and turning away from the two guys, realizing that nobody can love so intensely his own ex as Morality did.

Shaking his head, fighting with all his might because the tears risk to fall without stopping, Patton shamelessly lies to himself, vainly promising that he won’t take it personally if Logan is dating someone else.

 

 _‘Cause baby you look_   _happier, you do_  
_My friends_   _told_   _me one day_   _I’ll_   _feel_   _it_   _too_  
_And_   _until_   _then_   _I’ll_   _smile to_   _hide_   _the_   _truth  
__But_   _I know I was_   _happier_   _with you_

Increasing the pace to get away from the happy and relaxed aura that Logan gives him and that pierces his chest like a sharp blade, Patton bites his lower lip and dries his slightly teary eye with a finger, silently sniffing.

He can already feel and imagine the words of Roman and Thomas, his two best friends, who will reassure him that everything will be fine and that eventually another person like Logan will come sooner or later into Patton’s life.

Morality can also imagine his own fake smile, putting it on to not to make them worry, and his words, created by the little voice in his head that pushes him to lie, that’ll reassure them that now he’ll no longer think about Logan and their relationship, while in reality his heart shatters into a thousand pieces.

 

 _Sat_   _on the corner of the room_  
_Everything’s_   _reminding_   _me of you_  
_Nursing an_   _empty_   _bottle_   _and_    _telling myself you’re happier_  
Aren’t you? 

 

And after a few days, here he is, Patton, in the house he and Logan shared before they broke up, sitting next to the radiator in the dimly lit room, his head light as a balloon with a pain that makes his heart heavy like a boulder in his chest.

The more he looks around, the more every object, every fragrance, every colour, every noise floods him with positive and non-positive feelings and memories of a time when he was definitely happier.

Taking the bottle of champagne that he decided to drink to forget, at least for one evening, in his hand and realizing that he has finished it, he throws it to the ground, breaking it into many little pieces, resting his head on the cold wood of the table, staring into space.

“Will Logan really be happier without me?” The boy asks himself, his mind blurred by alcohol.

 

 _Ain’t_   _nobody_   _hurt_   _you_   _like_   _I_   _hurt_   _you_  
_but_   _ain’t_   _nobody_   _need_   _you_   _like_   _I do_  
_I know_   _that_   _there’s_   _others_  t _hat_   _deserve_   _you  
__but_   _my_   _darling, I_   _am_   _still_   _in love with you_

 

Looking back over their entire story from beginning to end for the umpteenth time in that evening, Patton finds himself sobbing violently, not even trying to stop the tears coming down copiously on the gray sweatshirt with cat ears and cat paws, the first gift that Logan has ever given to him, actually squeezing it against himself and sniffing the scent of his ex, feeling the  **need** to have him close, to reassure him and love him as only he could do.

Patton knows very well that a guy like Logan doesn’t deserve someone like him, a whiner who still gets excited about Disney movies and love comedies and still dreams an “And they all lived happily ever after.”, he deserves much more, someone who knows how to satisfy him with more real and tangible dreams and objectives, someone more rational and in his league; and yet Patton cannot help but continue to love him in spite of all that they went through, despite the fact that his heart is fragmented and destroyed like the bottle he threw to the ground.

 

 _Baby, you look_   _happier, you do_  
_I_   _knew_   _one day_   _you’d_   _fall_   _for_   _someone_   _new_  
_but_   _if_   _he breaks_   _your_   _heart_   _like_   _lovers do  
__Just know_   _that_   _I’ll_   _be_   _waiting_   _here_   _for you_

 

Remembering a few days prior, Logan’s genuine smile and his loving gaze towards the purple-haired stranger, Patton promises himself, this time genuinely and from the depths of his broken heart that, in case Logan decides to return to him, he’ll wait for him with a smile: a smile even bigger than the two of them put together.


End file.
